So, as many
of you already know on May 15th, 2015 I lost my dear granddaddy. If
you have kept up with us throughout the years, you know that the relationship
and bond we had between each other was the best I could ever ask for. I
considered, and still do, my granddaddy my other half. People even said that we
talked and acted like each other a lot of the time. A best friend, sweetheart,
granddaddy, and caring provider, just to name a few, are all the roles he took
upon himself throughout my life. To say I’m blessed would be an understatement.
Granddaddy
had been fighting sicknesses and diseases for about ten years prior to his
death. Two strokes, colon cancer, skin cancer, heart problems, radiation
treatments, etc. You name it! You would think that would really put a bind in
his lifestyle, right? Nope, my granddaddy fought until the very end. Even then he didn’t want to give up. He lived
his life to the fullest, despite his illness, just as he was a young boy again.
He worked outside, took his daily trips to town, and most importantly spent
time with the people he loved, his family.
Friday
morning, May 15th, started out as a normal morning for me.
Everything was going great until my mom got a phone call from my grandmother.
My grandmother said that granddaddy was in the floor, messing around in his
room, and she couldn’t get him up. He was also in a confused state of mind. As
fast as we could, mom and I went down to their house to find my granddaddy lying
in the floor of his bedroom unconscious. While my mom tried to help him regain
consciousness, I immediately called 911. I was so upset and worried that I
could barely type those three numbers they teach you from elementary school on.
Before we
knew it the ambulance was at my grandparent’s house and suggested they
immediately rush him to the hospital due to his low heart rate. Taking him to
Mission in Asheville wasn’t even an option for us now. Without any question, I
jumped in the ambulance with them. I couldn’t imagine leaving him at this
point, not ever. I sat in front of the ambulance while both paramedics worked
on him frantically in the back; I could tell it wasn’t going to be a good
outcome. All I could do at this point was pray. Pray that everything was going
to be okay and that God gave me the strength to make the right decisions for
him. Once we arrived at the hospital, they had a team of about ten nurses
waiting for him in the ER. They shut me out of the room so they could work on
him, leaving me crying and hysterical out in the middle of the hall. My mom and
grandmothers were following behind the ambulance, so they were there shortly
after. Ten or fifteen minutes passed, like I had time to count, before the
doctor came out and told us that they couldn’t regain his heart back. After
countless minutes of CPR and using the rehabilitator, he wasn’t going to make
it.
“He’s not
going to make it.” I seriously never imagined myself having to hear those six
words prior to his death. I always just made it out to be something they said
in the show ER, Grey’s Anatomy, stuff like that. Not that it was going to
happen to me! It was then that my grandmother, mother, and I had to make one of
the hardest decisions of our life. However, at that moment God provided us with
the most abundant amount of strength in order to make the right decision. Not
only for his health, but also his quality of life. My granddaddy was better off
with God.
Mourning,
confusion, shock, and selfishness are all just examples of the feelings and
emotions my family is and was experiencing during this difficult time. I’ve
noticed that some are trying to piece everything together, how exactly it
happened, how it could have been different, if he was truly ready to go or not,
etc. However, no matter how much we try to justify what happened it isn’t going
to make the loss easier. Rather than being selfish, and only thinking of
ourselves, we should be thinking about granddaddy, and how better off he is. Imagine
how happy it is! Remember, it’s not goodbye but rather see you later.
God has a
plan for everyone, everything, and every part of His creation. It was God’s
plan to take my granddaddy from this earth on Friday morning, and that’s what
he did. No matter how, where, or when it happened, it was time for Cohen Mathews
to go home and be with his Savior. It is important that we take into account
God’s plan when it comes to death, and although he is apart from this earth he
still lives. Jesus says in John 11:25-26 that “He who believes in me will live,
even though he dies and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.” Although
his body is no longer with us on earth, his soul will live forever.
I,
personally, am probably the family member that took my granddaddy’s death the
hardest. I cry every day, can’t sleep at night, and am constantly thinking
about him and how much he’s missed. However, the night after his death I
started praying for peace. Peace that he’s in heaven, dancing around with
angels, worshipping nonstop, and feeling the best he’s ever felt. He’s in no
more pain. Throughout the past couple of days a new feeling has overcame me. I
know without a doubt that my granddaddy lived the life he loved, all day every
day. I know that he’s a Son of God and that he’s under His care now. I know
that no matter what this earth provides, he’s better off in heaven. Although I
still have a void, that cannot be replaced or filled, I have a sense of comfort
and peace. The Bible says in Psalm 29:11 that “The Lord gives strength to his
people; the Lord blessed his people with strength.” I give all my thanks to the
Lord for providing me with the strength to deal with his death, and also
receive peace about it.
When it
comes to remembering my granddaddy, don’t remember him as a sick man; but
rather remember him as if he was in his golden days. A husband, father,
granddaddy, coach, and friend all make up Cohen Mathews and the great man he
was. My granddaddy left this world a loved, respected, and well-known man and
will forever be known as that. I know my granddaddy, probably better than
anyone else, and I know that he would want everyone to cherish the memories
with him and remember the wonderful life he lived.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled.
You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if
that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a
place for you?”
{John 14:1-2}
xoxo - Savannah
xoxo - Savannah
